Sometimes we just need to center ourselves to not just what we have in gratitude but what we want for ourselves emotionally, physically, & spiritually. I struggle with this because I have always been a person to not like to ask for things I want or even ask for help & support. I always rely on my own strength and will power and its just not enough.
It’s hard to stay motivated and there is nothing wrong with asking God & the universe for help. The thing is, we affirm everyday. Whether it be “I will remain positive today” or “That was bad, today is not going to be a good day”
Whether you like it or not both of these statements are affirmations. Without knowing it you are affirming things into your life that shouldn’t be. Make sure to be mindful of that.
When you visualize, then you materialize. If you’ve been there in the mind, you’ll go there in the body.
Dr. Denis Waitley
With that being said why not take the extra step to affirm the positives, what you want, and what you need in your life!
Finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.
Affirm With Me Sis…
I attract prosperity & abundance
Financial abundance is all around me
I attract good health
My body is strong and my mind is calm.
I attract knowledge, wisdom, and curiosity
I attract love & Peace
I am authentic, true and graceful.
I attract positive energy that fuels me each day
I attract people into my life that have good intentions
I attract people and situations I can trust
I attract yes, approved, affirmed, accepted
I attract limitless possibilities
I attract success physically, emotionally, & spiritually
I am my best source of motivation & drive
My dreams & goals are easily turned into my reality.
Everything works out for me perfectly
If you enjoy meditations check this one out. I use these same affirmations to motivate Abundance! … Click Below…
As a meditation coach, I tend to get this question often. Does meditation really help? It feels weird or I feel stupid doing it. I tried once but didn’t feel a difference so I stopped. It doesn’t work, just feels like a waste of time. I don’t see the point, just sitting around doesn’t help me. I don’t have the time, I probably will just fall asleep.
Does this all sound familiar? This is common. Meditation on the surface can seem boring or like it doesn’t work. It can seem wonky, weird, or make you feel out of place. It can simply feel like a waste of time or not needed. It can feel like a chore or an obligation at times. Right?
Meditation can sometimes be misunderstood if we go into it with the wrong intentions or no intentions at all. To figure that out we must discuss what meditation is so let’s go there for a sec.
What is Meditation??
Meditation is going into deep thought or focusing the mind on a specific item, thing, or emotion for a period of time to improve a more logical, physical, or spiritual connection. Think of it as simply exercise for the mind. A series of mental exercises to help strengthen our mental well-being. Meditation is a practice, not something we are expected to master. Your relationship with meditation is meant to evolve. You will have some good days in the practice and some bad days in the practice but is truly beneficial to your physical, spiritual, & mental state.
Why would people think that meditation doesn’t work?
There could be many reasons why people feel meditation doesn’t work for them. This is what I have seen the most frequent but Im sure there can be more:
They go into it with the preconceived notion that it will not work
They give it a try with no intentions or expectations
They go into it with judgement or skepticism without giving it a full chance
They give up too soon. They try 1 or 2 times and gives up because of discomfort, time, boredom, etc.
They go in over zealous and overexert themselves and end up getting discouraged in the process.
The thing about meditation that we have to understand is that it is practice. It’s meant to be something that gets better with time. Meditating inconsistently creates a narrative in our minds that it doesn’t work. And in that case, would be a true statement!
So to answer your question, does meditation really help?
Yes It can, If you allow it to. You have to go into it with a positive attitude, an open mind, and judgement free. I know this can be easier said than done but it is crucial in ensuring meditation works for you. This will also take time, patience, consistency, & resilience. In my practice I have even felt at times that it wasn’t helping. Each time I felt that way it was because I was in my own head. I was trying to force results instead of allowing them to happen organically. Here are some things to keep in mind in order to give yourself a higher probability of meditative success!:
Educate Yourself: Dig in and understand how meditation can help you so you know what intentions to set for your personal practice. Being intentional with your practice is key and is a personal journey. What works for you may not work for others and vice versa.
Go In judgement Free: The more open you are to the practice the better. This allows you to explore and discover what works for you.
Hire a Meditation Coach or find a community of support: Having some form of support will help you to keep going and get questions answered as needed.
I hope this helps and provides some insight! Let me know your thoughts in the comments. What reasons are you feeling meditation isn’t working? I would love to hear your thoughts. Below I have provided some resources to help you in your meditation journey!
Most of the drama in our lives starts with the drama, trauma, and chaos within ourselves. As I think through the messy situations in my life. Sometimes, it was because of a thought, perception, or feeling that I had that felt valid but for whatever reason was skewed by my past experiences, thinking traps, or simply miscommunication. Does this sound familiar? “hand raised” I was there its me!!
Now I know that creating inner peace is the most important thing in my life. It’s not just important for me but also important for the people around me. Having peace within myself benefits my children, future spouse, coworkers, family, and friends. It gives me the space to be myself in all aspects of life unapologetically. Walking around with a chip on your shoulder isn’t fun. Walking around angry and defensive all the time is destructive. How did I come to find inner peace? Here are a few tips I hope help:
Know who you are: Know, understand, and accept who you are. Knowing who you are will help you to understand your strengths, weakness, and areas of opportunity. Once you know and love who you are and are more comfortable in your own solitude. It’s harder for outside factors to disrupt that peace. You become more protective of your energy and space, and this eliminates unnecessary destruction. It’s hard to disrupt energy that is confident and absolute.
Don’t overwork yourself: Know your limits emotionally, spiritually, & physically. In knowing these limits set boundaries with the people around you. Most of all ensure that you don’t surpass your own boundaries also. Protect your time and energy these are the two most precious things you have and are the only things you really have control over. Ultimately we choose where and how we spend our time and where we invest the most energy. Guard this like your life depends on it because it does. Listen to your body when it comes to this. If you need rest do that. A rested body functions properly and makes lucid decisions.
Choose your battles wisely: Sis you are not Captain Marvel lol! You cannot right all wrongs in the world, thats including wrongs directed at you. So pick and choose your battles wisely. Some things you have to let roll off your back. I know this is hard! As a ex wanna be super hero I had to learn everything doesn’t deserve my energy. Everything is not meant for me to fix. Once I understood and accepted that, things changed drastically in my life. Some battles are meant to fight but others are not. If you choose to fight them any way you are bound to come back wounded. Sit down girl you gonna hurt yourself!
Give yourself grace: The source of inner conflict is often because we forget to take the time for forgiveness and acceptance. Practicing self compassion is important when channeling inner peace because if not our inner judge pulls out her gavel. Our judgements, inaccuracies, shortcomings, and flaws take over. That negative energy interrupts the peace and creates darkness and the darkness tends to stay there. Give yourself the space to mess up, to not get it right, to fumble the ball. It’s ok, we are human and thats expected. Try not to be so hard on yourself while course correcting.
I hope and pray this has been helpful! Let me know in the comments if there are any other tips or if this has helped in any way. I would love to hear!
Come Say Hi to me on Instagram and YouTube @haveninspired
Self- Doubt just literally sucks and it shows up in our lives in more ways than we can count. It shows up as severe anxiety or stress. It shows up as depression or even procrastination or lack of motivation. It may even make it extremely difficult to make decisions for things in our lives big or small. Self-Doubt isn’t our friend but it speaks to us every day and we unfortunately choose to listen to it. I’m here to tell you, Don’t!
8 Self- Doubt Affirmations
I trust myself and my intuition I know my intuition is here to help me
I am highly intuitive and I follow my intuitive guidance everyday.
I deepen my connection with my spirit and discover the unique ways it speaks.
My body is a powerful messenger and I listen carefully to the guidance I receive.
I open myself to seeing new possibilities that align with my spirit.
I call upon the tools & resources naturally offered to me.
I listen to my body and my emotions and my divine guidance is already within me
I am fully connected to my heart, I can hear when it speaks
Need More Guidance? Check out my book!
Nah…Self, Let me be great! : Self-Doubt Inspiration and Workbook
It’s been a while since you have seen me so my bad it has been an insane and busy couple of months. I released my book “Nah…Self, Let me be great” and also have been working on launching my virtual meditation studio Haven inspired! Im so excited for all of the new fun things happening but also wanted to make sure I check in. Did you miss me???
Nah…Self, Let Me Be Great!
This inspiration and workbook I released on my 35th birthday this year! This book discusses my personal journey with self-doubt. Low self-esteem has been something I have struggled with all of my life and shows up in my life primarily as severe anxiety. In my book, I explore that challenge by discussing real-life situations I have run into and then even have workbook prompts for the reader to explore their own challenges.
I hope and pray this book and my story, in general, help others overcome this ugly thing we call self-doubt. It has impacted my life to the point where I stay in situations longer than I should and or sike my self out of great and wonderful opportunities. No more! I will break the cycle and not pass this along to my kids. I hope you do too!
I’m so excited to also announce that in June 2022 I will be launching a virtual meditation classes! I have come a long way with meditation and teaching it is a newfound love for me. I have been using my colleagues as guinea pigs for almost 2 years now lol! I guess it’s time to jump in and give this gift to as many as I can.
Each class has a focused topic. Our classes are broken down into 3 areas. Educate, meditate, & plan. First, we talk through as a group what our needs are based on the class topic. I educate you on how to meditate and the type of meditation we will be using. We do a meditation to help support the topic. I then send you off with a plan to execute until the next class. (Journal prompts, mindfulness action items, meditation goals etc) Just that simple!
“Meditation has changed my life for the better! I want to share this practice with as many people as I can because meditation creates a space for people to understand themselves and others.”
Affirmations are positive statements that can help you to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts. When you repeat them often, and believe in them, you can start to make positive changes. Affirmations may also help to mitigate the effects of stress.
They can also help with things such as
Raise your confidence
Control or suppress negative feelings
Improve your self-esteem.
Finish projects you’ve started.
Improve your productivity.
Overcome a bad habit.
One Thing to Remember:
Positive affirmations without action is pointless. You still have to do the work!
So when using affirmations whether you decide to recite them, journal them, or meditate on them. Remember it starts with your heart!
Here Are My Favorites!
I am confident even when fear is present
I am lovable even with my shortcomings
I am creative in all aspects of my life
I am worthy of having high self-confidence
Feeling good about myself is normal for me
I honor my truth in all decisions
I let go of all toxic energy that does not serve me
National Crown Day just passed on July 3rd and I feel so oblivious because I missed it. If I missed it I’m sure others did as well so I took the time to do some research.
National CROWN Day 2021 is to mark the one-year anniversary of The CROWN Act being signed into law in California. The legislation, sponsored by the Coalition, was first introduced by Senator Holly J. Mitchell in January 2019 and signed into law by Governor Gavin Newsom on July 3, 2019.
This is so near and dear to my heart for the longest time I have had my hair permed until about 8 years ago. I decided to be silly and put a perm in my hair not too long after I colored my hair and all of it began to fall out.
A friend of mine who was natural was like “ It’s ok girl just start over and go natural” I was petrified! I worked in the banking industry at the time. Things need to be a “certain way” I won’t be accepted, it’s not going to work!
I took a chance anyway and did the big chop. All of my hair was gone but I loved the new look!
About a year later, I then found myself needing to start looking for work. I interviewed at a bank and I swear I killed the interview! Like I answered all of the questions flawlessly. I was interviewed by two people. A caucasian female and male. The female interviewer was feeling me she had no poker face yaw lol! She was loving everything I was saying. I then started to notice the male interviewer kept looking at my hair. At first I thought maybe there was something behind me but there was nothing there.
He would glance at me and smile and listen to my answers and then look at my hair. Over and Over again. After the interview was over, they let me know they would update me soon. Of course I get that dreaded email the next day. I didn’t get the job. Womp Womp!
I then started to fixate on why I didn’t get it. I did such a good job! My answer continued to keep coming back to my hair. I also thought, maybe someone else was just honestly better for the job? I also thought, well I can’t just assume they didn’t like my hair?
Then I remembered the male interviewer’s face. He just seemed so displeased at how I looked, that he couldn’t fathom me working there. Look I could be wrong but that is the honest conclusion I came to. From that day on when I went to interviews I always flat ironed my hair. No matter what company or what position my hair had to be flat ironed. Now….. I may show up on my first day like curly girl central, but I ended up having to make it a part of my interview process.
Has it yielded better results for me? Yes. Is that right? Hell no!! We are taught in our community to conform so others are not offended by our culture. Lata for dat!
Now at work you may get 6 different hairstyles in a week. Curly girl down, Curly girl up, Curly girl to the side, Curly girl bun, Braids, Twist, Turban lol! Whateva! It doesn’t matter because if I can’t be my authentic self at work where I spend about 70% of my time then it’s not worth it. Embracing who you are and accepting who you are is most important. Any one who doesn’t like it can kick rocks! I am finally at a place where being unapologetically black is normal for me. I will no longer conform or care about White Fragility. It’s their problem not mine:)
I’m so excited to hear that something is FINALLY being done about this. The act has a lot of work to still do, especially in its work to get passed by all of the other states. At least we are headed in the right direction.
I missed it this year but will definitely observe next year. If you are interested, make sure to sign the CROWN act petition here
I’m interested in hearing your stories? Can anyone else relate to what I have described?
My CROWN is beautiful in spite of the uncomfortably of others. I stand tall and wear it proud in all of it’s forms
Hey Sis… Who am I you ask? Someone who is more than willing to help who ever I can to start, continue, or excel in their mental health journey!
I am a Meditation Coach & Owner of Haven Inspired Style a Positive Affirmations T-shirt Line for Women! In spite of that I am also a Mom, A Recruiter, A Sister, A Friend, A Daughter, & single Lol! I wear many hats and blogger was never on my list. I have just recently felt compelled to do so and I feel like our best masterpieces tend to happen by accident. (But not really)
Why do this?
I have had my own difficulties and setbacks. In the past several years of my life I have struggled with Job Loss, Anxiety, Depression, Stress, Self Doubt and just needing to rebuild my life post divorce. It forced me to embark on a journey of improving my mental health and im here to share that experience with you.
Having a voice of mental health in the black community is a recent phenomenon. As I go through my own personal journey of improving I want to instantly pass that guidance, inspiration, encouragement, & enlightenment to others.
Helping others also helps me to hold myself accountable for my own journey. I genuinely have a love for people and sharing my journey keeps me grounded.
Here are some Common Topics I Will Discuss:
I truly desire to be a voice for those who need it and plan to do so using this platform. Im just a chocolate black girl from the suburbs of philly trying to make a mark in the world. I truly hope this blog is helpful, inspiring, & insightful to you!
As I continue on this Journey in building strong & healthy mental habits I have learned so much and want to share it with as many people as I can! Starting with you! So if you want to jump on this journey with me and build a strong foundation for your mental health make sure to subscribe below for updates on new content!
You can also find me by clicking any of the links below: